[縮寫文選]
10歲週六早上如坐針氈的等待
原作 俞明義 Charles Yu
譯作 張小文 Wenny Chang
08/11/2007
我還記得10歲的時候，好幾個週六清早，我焦急的等
待，如坐針氈的等待。那些星期六，我們全家起個大
早，穿好衣服，走路鞋，一起出門。我們穿爬過街底破
舊的鉸鏈柵欄，然後，全家手牽手，在川流不息的大馬
路邊，大步向前。我們要去哪兒呢 ? 我們要去 La
Mirada 和Rosecrans街口那家Carl’s Jr.和麥當勞同級
的速食店。做什麼呢? 吃臘腸雞蛋早點 。
當我細細回想這整個近乎儀式的過程，真是太奇妙了。
誰一大早在洛杉磯大馬路上行走?並且為了速食店的早
點，充滿莫名其妙的期待與興奮?是我們全家。因為爸
爸，臘腸雞蛋早點，成了好吃的不得了的美味佳餚。他
豐滿的熱情，付予食物奇妙的滋味，勝過最偉大的美食
專家。
現在我得澄清一下。爸爸不是一個美食主義者。他喜歡
好菜佳肴。偶爾好好享受一餐細緻的中國菜。但是，他
飽足於簡單的食物。日常食品。家常菜。炒花生。茉莉
香片。饅頭。 蔥油餅。牛肉麵。餃子。餅乾。巧克力。
罐頭桃子。冰淇淋。每當他吃東西的時候，他都會歡喜
讚美，好像吃到全世界最好吃的東西。如果你也在場，
你一定也得嚐一嚐。他也喜歡做菜。然而，他的烹飪決
不是當紅主廚的菜譜，而是童年時代的家常菜。他的每
一道菜，都能敞開記憶的天窗，帶領我們遙遠的懷想。
我記得他把乾了的饅頭切開。把烤餅紙抹上油。再把乾
饅頭一片一片排好。放到烤箱裡。烤好以後，撒上鹽
巴。乾饅頭脆脆鹹鹹的，可以稱他作「中式馬鈴薯
片」。 如果你在家，試做這道乾饅頭，大概不會覺得怎
麼樣。 但是，倘若和爸爸一起，嗯，他首先會告訴你，
當年在北京打仗的時候，喝!糧食多珍貴啊，得省著吃。
大家都這麼常常吃乾饅頭的。這個時候，你開始咬乾饅
頭，你小心翼翼地吃，怕它太硬，咬碎牙齒，當你舔著
使指尖上的鹽巴的時候，他開始閃躲美國空軍子彈掃
射。正當你停下來喝口茶的時候，他又到了黑夜的金
門，卡車駛在崎嶇狹窄的山路，車燈都不敢開，他得閃
避頭頂上飛來飛去的砲彈。食物。故事。舌尖的饗宴。
無窮無盡的想像。乾饅頭，真是太好吃了。
爸爸告訴我最有用的故事是「二進攻」。當年，在四川
空軍期間，只有米飯，以及醃醬菜。年輕人正在成長，
胃口很大。米飯不夠大家吃。所以，你得記得「二進
攻」法。你第一次排隊盛飯的時候， 看見滿鍋大米，誘
惑你盛滿你的碗。但是，那是外行的新手錯誤，因為，
當你吃完第一碗，回來裝第二碗的時候，已經沒有米飯
了。 可是，如果你只盛半碗，並且坐下來趕快吃，然後
衝回去排隊「二進攻」，你便能裝滿整碗飯，並且回頭
坐好，享受一大碗白米飯。 我在生活裡，已經在不同的
自助餐會上，反反覆覆多次應用這個「二進攻」法。現
在我轉送爸爸的智慧給你。 聰明地用吧!
唯一可與爸爸對食物的熱情媲美的，就是他對人的熱
情。記得幾年前，爸媽和我在溫哥華，我們在小汽車裡
等待上渡船去溫哥華島。那天的車隊很長，我們坐在車
裏聊天。 突然，一些黑頭髮的身影，在是至少20英尺遠
的小汽車窗內閃動。爸爸突然說，我去。並且立刻出
發。他走去前面那部小汽車，並且在那裡停留了30 分
鐘。他回來，告訴我們，那些小汽車裡，大約那些人，
他們的家庭，他們從哪裡來，他們在加拿大多久了，他
們來自中國什麼地方，等等，等等。不出所料，媽媽拿
起許多福音單張，交給爸爸，並且說，把這些給他們。
他熱愛談天。不論貧富，長幼，學識高低，專業。沒有
一個人不重要。沒有一個人不被他關懷。當人們和他談
話，感覺回到了家。他對你生活細節的關注，使你感覺
自己被肯定，重視，充滿價值。他的出席，像魔術師一
般，將平凡無奇化為精采絕倫。細微末節在剎那之間也
可以成為值得探索的主題。我想，這就是為什麼大家，
年輕的，年長的，環繞他的原因。因為他願意注意所謂
不重要的事。
我想這樣大約概述了爸爸的性格精髓。不論食物。歌
唱。旅遊。園藝。爸爸對於所謂不重要的事總是滿心歡
喜地關懷。當我在此懷想爸爸的時候，我想起我四歲的
女兒Nikki。我們經常去圖書館，管理員會送給他小塑膠
戒指或者小貼紙。 這時候，Nikki的眼睛閃爍著驚訝，
嘴角洋溢著讚美，整顆心都飛起來了。對我來說一片小
小的塑膠；對她來說簡直是天價的珍珠。我多麼珍愛她
眼中燦爛的光芒。我想，總有一天，他會和我所認識的
大多數人一樣，長大了，忘卻這些小東西。爸爸的奇
跡，就是他從未失去這樣的童心，他可以為了一些人們
認為不重要的東西歡天喜地。對他來說，世界上，沒有
什麼不重要的東西。沒有什麼不重要的人。每一樣東西
都那麼好玩，帶來歡喜。每一個時刻候都是慶典。每一
個人都值得關注，都值得人與人間的親愛。
關愛所謂的”不重要的”人事物，也就是不認同這個世
界的一般價值觀。是的，爸爸從來沒有構思過巨大的工
程，宏偉的計畫；他從未奉獻時間思索神學和哲學的問
題；他也不曾集合人群成就偉大。他不是扭轉時勢的英
雄。他不是危機時刻指揮軍旅的元帥。然而，在他時時
刻刻的参與 - 休息。聊天。玩牌。飲茶。卻使所有的所
謂‘沒有成就’的分分秒秒散放出閃亮動人的光芒。
所謂‘沒有成就’是一般世界的標準。在聖經裡，一起
吃東西聊天，就是 父神國度的重要影像。有一天，再也
不需要植堂。傳福音。神學辯論。聖經研讀。我的專業
在研究舊約，我想當耶穌再來的時候，我也要失業了。
既然，你可以就教摩西，你還會來找我嗎? 那麼，剩下
來就是–一起吃東西聊天了。歡欣讚美事事物物，因為
對於 神來說，沒有一個人，沒有一件東西不重要。極少
人明白，爸爸自己也不知道，他已經活出了將來天國的
生活。在他付予食物的愛，在他付予人們豐豐富富的
愛，他傳遞了 父神的重要精髓給認識他的所有幸運的親
朋好友。
世紀以來，許多基督教會都肯定活在當下的重要。分分
秒秒。來來往往。人也好。物也好。然而，許多人逃離
日常生活的紛紛擾擾，尋覓洞窟或者修道院的避護，完
成他們的理想。爸爸的奇蹟是 – 他在世界中， 成就所
有，然而，不為世界佔有。他的人生不在追求現世的成
功，物質的堆砌，轉瞬消逝的名利追逐。他寧可和媽媽
玩橋牌–並且輸給她。
所以，爸爸留給這個世界的遺產是特殊的。他並沒有透
過意志力，說服力，或者工作和創造力，來影響事情，
或者影響人。他以間接的模式影響周遭。他帶領我們以
另一種眼光看世界，新的色調，新的音階。這是不可輕
忽的能力。很多人會計畫,會烹調,或者有能力為宴會買
單。但是沒有幾個人可以將Carl Jr.速食店的臘腸雞蛋
早點，化身為美味大餐。而，爸爸，就是這樣的人。
For a few weeks in my eleventh year of life, I awaited Saturday mornings on pins
and needles. On those Saturdays, the whole family would get up, get dressed, put
on our walking shoes, and head out. We would climb through the broken chain-
linked fence at the end of the cul-de-sac on Manecita Drive. We would head right
on La Mirada Blvd, walk down the sidewalk, the whole family together hand in
hand. Our destination? The corner of La Mirada and Rosecrans. Our objective?
The sausage and egg breakfast at Carl’s Jr.
Looking back, there was something slightly odd about the whole ritual. After all,
who actually walks in LA? Then there’s the whole fast food thing. Who gets
excited about eating fast food for breakfast? But here’s the thing. In my Dad’
s presence, fast food was a feast. He had a bubbling enthusiasm for food that
rivals the greatest gourmet.
Now let me clarify. My Dad was not a food snob. He liked good food; he enjoyed a
good Chinese banquet every now and then, but he thrived on simple food, everyday
food. Home food. Fried peanuts and Jasmine tea, man to, 蔥油餅, beef noodle,
dumpling, crackers, chocolate, canned peaches, ice cream. Every time he ate, the
food was praised and celebrated like it is the greatest food on earth, and if you
were there with him, you simply must try some. He liked to make his own food, and
they were never the kind that big-time chefs make. Rather, they were usually food
from his childhood, each recipe an opening to a faraway reminiscence.
I remember watching him slice up stale man-to, lay the slices on greased cookie
sheet and place them in the oven. When they were done, he would take them out and
then sprinkle salt on them. It was crunchy and salty, kind of like Chinese potato
chips. Here’s the thing, if you tried this at home, you wouldn’t think much of
it, but when you ate it with my Dad, Well, he would began by telling you that this
is how they used to cooked stale Manto back when he was in Beijing during the war
and when they had to be very conservative with food. While you’re crunching
down, carefully not to chip a tooth, while licking the salt crystals from your
fingertips, he is dodging bullets from American air force strafing runs. And
while you pause for a sip of tea, he is on a truck on the winding narrow mountain
trail of Xinmen in the dark with the headlights off while artillery shells fly
overhead. Food and story, a treat for the tongue and the imagination—and stale
Manto has never tasted so good.
The most useful story my Dad told me was the story of the “second invasion”.
When enlisted in the Air Force in sichuan, all they had were rice and some
preserved vegetables for food. We’re talking growing young man with huge
appetites. What’s worse, there’s not enough rice for everyone to have as much
as they like, So the concept of the “second invasion.” It works like this, on
your first time through the line, you see all the rice there, the temptation is to
pile up your bowl with rice, but that would be a rookie mistake because, by the
time you finish and go back for seconds, they’ll be no rice left. But if you
fill half a bowl, sit down and eat fast, then rush back in line for the second
invasion then you can fill up your bowl and get to sit back and enjoy a huge bowl
of rice. I have applied the lesson from this story repeatedly in life, and now I’
m passing on my Dad’s wisdom to you. Use it wisely.
My Dad’s enthusiasm for food was matched only by his enthusiasm for people. My
parents were with me in Vancouver some years ago. We were waiting in our car at
the terminal to catch the ferry to go across the water to Vancouver island. There
was a long line of cars, and we sat talking. Suddenly, some black topped visages
flashed in the window of the car that was at least 20 feet away. My dad said, I’
m going. And took off. He walked up to that car way ahead and stayed there for
30 minutes. He came back, told us about the people who were in the car, their
family, where they’re from, how long they’ve been in Canada, what part of China
they were from on and on. True to form, my Mom grabbed a stack of evangelism
tracts, handed it to my Dad and said, give this to them.
He loved talking to people. It did not matter if somebody was rich, poor, young
old, It did not matter the education level, the profession. There was no person
too insignificant, there was no one beneath his notice. When people talked with my
Dad, they felt part of the family. His interest in other people’s lives, in all
the their details gave them affirmation, significance, worth. In his presence,
like that of a magician, what was mundane became extraordinary; what was trivial
became worthy topic for exploration. I think this was why people, young and old,
flocked to him, eager to be with someone who paid attention to the insignificant.
I think that captures Dad in his essence. Whether food or people or singing or
traveling or tending his gardens, Dad was someone who paid attention and delighted
in things that others, the world, considered insignificant. My daughter Nikki is
four. Often, we would go to the library, and the librarians would hand out little
plastic rings or stickers. On these occasions, Nikki’s eyes would light up with
amazement, her lips effusive in praise, her mind enraptured. For me a piece of
plastic, for her it’s the pearl of great price. I cherish the sparkle in her
eyes because I think that like most people I know she’ll grow complacent one day,
jaded by life. The wonder of Dad is that he never lost that child’s sense of
wonderment. That’s because for my Dad, there were no insignificant things or
people. Every moment was an opportunity for celebration, every object for play
and for laughter, every person someone worthy of attention and possibility for
relationship and intimacy.
Paying attention to what the world considers insignificant means not conforming to
the standards of this world. It is true that Dad did not conceive of huge
projects, design grandiose plans; he did not devote hours contemplating issues of
theology and philosophy; he did not rally people to great causes. He was not the
man for the pivotal moments when everything is on the line. He was not the man to
rally the troops in great time of crisis. Rather, he was most in his elements in
the moments between the moments, the times spent relaxing, chatting, playing
cards, sipping tea, chewing peanuts, the times when “nothing” is getting done.
Well, “nothing” according to this world. In the Bible, eating and talking
together captures the essential image of the Kingdom of God. One day, there will
be no more church planting, evangelism, no more theological debates, bible
studies. I study the Old Testament, I suspect when Jesus returns I’ll be out of
a job. You can go talk to Moses, why would you want to talk to me? What will be
left—is eating and talking together, celebrating everything because there is
nothing and no one that is insignificant to God. Unbeknownst to him and realized
by few, my father lived the life of the kingdom to come. In his love for food and
other people, he mediated this essential aspect of God to those lucky enough to
know him.
This important of attending to the minute, the mundane, the pedestrian, whether
people or things has been understood throughout the centuries by many in the
Christian church. Many of these Christians escaped from the temptation and
distraction of the hustle and bustle of everyday life, seeking the shelter of the
desert caves or walled monasteries. The amazing thing about Dad is that he did
what he did while being thoroughly in the world, but never of it, never co-opted
into a pursuit for worldly success, the dreary accumulation of material possession
and the vain search for fleeting reputation and public acclaim. He would rather
play bridge with Mom—and lose.
So my Dad’s legacy in this world is not of the common variety. He did not affect
events and people by his will, his power of persuasion, or his hard work and
ingenuity. He affected the world around him by indirection, changing how others
view the world by altering tones and tints. This is not a power to be
underestimated. Many are those who can plan, cook, or pay for a banquet, but few
are those who can elevate the experience of a sausage-and-egg breakfast at a Carl’
s Jr. into that of a banquet. My Dad was such a one.
Charles Yu 08/11/2007
永遠的喜樂
懷念我們的二姨夫[俞伯伯] 08/09/2007
他有一種特殊的氣質 就是喜樂
喜樂到 聊起心臟手術也可以開開心心
喜樂到 平平常常的花生米也好吃的不得了
喜樂到 講述中國地理可以比八點檔連續劇還精彩生動
他說 喝茶嗎?咱們喝茶，這茶好。我來泡。…
他說 這巧克力是無糖的，真好吃。我們明義特別從威斯康辛寄來的。…
他說 你看看你二姨，多上相。你看看，真好看。你看看，這是北平。…
他說 你看看這照片我們五個人。啊，再看看這張。喝! 我們一共十五個人耶。
你看看，若蘭，Sam，明禮，小Helen，明義，Serena，……，
喝! 我們一共十五個人耶。
就是這樣。我們一起共享好多好多快樂時光。花生米。瓜子。蜜餞。無糖冰淇淋。無糖巧克力。牛肉麵。抓餅。
無糖蛋糕。撲克牌。綠島小夜曲。生命如花籃。北平的故事。小學晚讀的故事。軍中的故事。結婚的故事。台中
西屯的故事。移民美國的故事。若蘭的故事。明禮的故事。明義的故事。信耶穌的故事。輸牌給二姨的故事。…
每一個故事都那麼有人情味。那麼令人留連。…
然而，自我有記憶以來，不曾聽見他有過什麼埋怨，或者什麼人不好。他的喜樂氣質，就這麼歲歲年年歡歡喜喜
地牽繫著每一個家人。這麼輕輕巧巧自自然然地美化了人生本有的憂煩勞苦，帶領我們看見另一種彩色視野，另
一種美麗人生。病榻前，我們還聊起撲克牌的事，嘻嘻哈哈開心地笑著。在加護病房，他告訴我- 明義講道真
好，很感動。我感覺他的眼角有一些淚光。我們相信，在家人的讚美詩歌中，他已經懷抱著無限的愛與祝福，歸
回永遠的喜樂天家。讓我們以喜樂的心來懷念他。
願 喜樂種子四方飄溢
處處結出美麗芳香
願 神恩典 與你同在
平安喜樂永不止息
「你們要靠主常常喜樂。我再說，你們要喜樂。」- 腓立比書第四章第四節